Title issues, short

Waterfalls need a firm hand. In the Canadian wilds I met a very large one, loud and full of itself. I took a deep breath and sucked it up like a noodle. I swam home with my cheeks full. Then I spat it back, and it has been humble since.

Sea serpents are shy and prone to tears. I met one near the Hebrides and told it a sad tale about my horse. It wept a fresh lake. We talked for nine hours. I tied its neck in a bow, at its own request, and it thanked me warmly.

Wigs were in fashion at Versailles, and mine was the tallest. Swallows nested near the top. A small choir practiced in the curls. One evening it caught on a chandelier, and I hung there all through the ball. The Queen said it was the best dance she had seen.

Tea in China nearly drowned me, and I say this with pride. The Emperor poured, and out of good manners I kept on sipping. After the ninth barrel my feet floated off the rug. Two servants towed me home by my sash. I did not need a drink for eleven years.

Lions roar because they have a sore throat. I learned this in.