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Giants are poor at sums. I met one near Bergen who wished to trade his mountain for three of my buttons. I agreed, then asked him for change. He gave me a valley and two small lakes. Later he came back with a lawyer, but the lawyer was a small one.

Dice betrayed me only once, in a game with a small red gentleman near Lemberg. I lost my hat and won his tail. We traded back at dawn, since it did not suit either of us. He still writes each New Year, and his handwriting is dreadful.

Rivers run downhill because they have never met me. I once talked the Danube into going the other way for an afternoon. Boats sailed up to Ulm without any effort. Then a fish complained to the mayor, and I let the old river go back to its usual job.

Anchors never held my ship in a blow, so one night I dropped my wife's cousin over the side. He was a heavy man with firm opinions. The vessel stopped dead. He sat on the sea floor until dawn, and he complained of the damp for the rest of his days.

Drums.