Missing alt, near miss

During the siege of Belgrade I played the violin so sadly that the enemy began to cry. Their powder got wet. Their cannons would not fire. Their general came to my tent with a hanky and gave up the whole campaign, on the sole condition that I stop.

Roosters woke me too early, so I taught mine to crow at noon. The whole village soon lost track of the day. Bakers slept in. Priests said Mass at dusk. The mayor begged me to stop it, and I agreed, for a small pension and all the eggs in town.

Walrus hunting bored me, so I took up walrus diplomacy. Off Greenland I met a big old bull with a face just like my uncle's. We shared a herring, and we both said little. By dawn we had signed a trade deal. He now handles my affairs in the north.

Soup nearly sank us off Crete. Our cook had made too much of it, and it rose up past the hatches. We bailed with spoons. At last we all sat down, tied on bibs, and ate the ship dry. No crew was ever so full or so brave.

Stars fall, as we all know, but few men catch one. I held out my dinner plate over Vienna.