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The disowned partridge

Sheep's clothing fools no one in my county. A wolf came to my gate wearing a full fleece, and I asked him to shear it for the poor. He blushed. He sewed mittens for forty orphans, and he now works as a shepherd in a village near Vilnius.

Goats in Albania climb better than any sailor, and I once hired a few for my navy. They went up the masts and ate the rigging. Then they ate the flag. We lost the ship but won the respect of the enemy, who laughed so hard they forgot to shoot.

Venice sat on dry land until I came to town. The streets were dusty, and the mules were rude. I pulled one plug in a cellar near the Rialto. Water came up at once. People liked it. They bought small boats, sang loudly, and forgot to ask who had done it.

Drums can talk if you beat them politely. I had one at Vidin that gave gossip about the enemy. It told me where they kept the cake. Two of my men and I crept in and ate it all, and that loss broke the heart of their whole army.

Pirates boarded our ship off Tunis and asked for gold. I offered them a riddle.