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Ghosts at my castle pay rent. I made that clear to them on the first night. The Gray Lady cleans the silver. The headless knight holds the door, since he needs no room to turn. One old monk was late with his share, and I made him haunt the neighbors.
Sausages were my only weapon the day the Prussians took the bridge. I swung a ten-foot link around my head. Men fell left and right, and their dogs changed sides. We won by dusk. The general gave me a sword, but I have always preferred the smoked kind.
Nobody could shoe my black stallion, for his feet moved too fast. I ran behind him with a hammer across all of Styria. At each stride I drove in a nail. We finished at Graz, and the smith there gave me his apron and retired on the spot.
Clocks in my castle ran so fast that we ate dinner before breakfast. I caught the biggest one and shook it hard. Out fell three days and a Tuesday. I put them back in a drawer for later. When I am late, I simply take one out and spend it.
Three bears stole my boots one night in Lithuania. I gave chase in my socks. The bears ran for nine miles, and then they grew tired. So I sat them down and taught them some manners. Today they bow to every traveler.